Roving eyes, hands and erm other body parts
Suddenly realise that my entries are becoming a little non-characteristic of the name of my blog. Hence I have decided to draw a little more attention to the values of love of society. Hopefully this will get you started to ponder over some of the issues I highlight. Do leave comments if you have something to share ok?
Btw in totally unrelated circumstances, got friends commented that I was very mean in previous few entries. Well I say it is in the name of entertainment so just take it with a pinch of salt k? (actually I am secretly very happy that people are calling me mean cause I believe nice people finish last. Discuss that another time though)
Life Pg 6
Titled: When is a cheat not a cheat?
Nicholas Fang (only extracts)
I have never cheated on my partner and that is not just because I havent been caught.
I is just that I've always been a firm believer in doing unto others as you would have others do unto you, and that what goes around comes around.
Besides the fact that a man is physiologically designed to have more than one partner in his lifetime to ensure the propagation of the species, the proverbial "seven year itch" of spouses and the growing social, and the financial and sexual independence of the modern woman have all been touted as reasons people are more likely to stray these days.
Infidelity for them happens usually begins when they meet someone new, but yet cant or wont let go of the partner they are already with, thus leading to actually cheating on the latter.
Moments of weakness, changing desires or just plain boredom with existing partners have all been citied as reasons.
In some cases, this eventually leads to the ending of an old relationship and the beginning of a new one.
In others, it have created an uncomfortable situation that often involves guilt, suspicion, distrust and general unhappiness.
I would like to believe that that we humans are able to find one person we can be with till we die.
Cheating begins the moment someone decides that its unreasonable to be sexually committed to one person, and once that happens only the fear of being caught - or the unavailability of an attractive accomplish - is what prevents infidelity from actually happening.
Indeed the issue that happens to bother most of them is whether mental and emotional intimacy without crossing of any physical boundaries actually constitutes cheating in a relationship. Some believe that the lack of physical intimacy with a third party absolves the of any guilt arising from straying affection.
But I dont think so. After all its is not hard to imagine how the loss of shared affection and development of emotional bonds could wreck havoc on a couple and ultimately break them up.
The acid test of doubts about cheating would be to imagine the tables being turned. If Imagining what their partners are doing makes them unhappy, then its probably a good indication of cheating.
********************************************
Like the columnist, I also believe in the golden rule of "Dont do to others what you dont want others to do to you." If it hurts reversing the roles in a situation, then dont do it.
Just wished to highlight the fact that there are indeed people who are in a relationship merely for the sake of being in one. They are constantly on the lookout of better and more suitable partners. I am very much against such thinking and behaviour as my friends will testify.
Mental cheating is almost as damaging as physical cheating. I am not referring to the occasional case of the roving eyes when a pretty gal walks past (come on guys are suppose to be hot blooded) but the constant toying of the idea of going after another more attractive female. (Issue of whether guys are superficial is besides present discussion)
To me, a relationship is a strong commitment. I can accept it when things do not go as planned and two people eventually breakup, but to have the mentality of "upgrading" is morally wrong. Perhaps I am still living among the dinosaurs with conservative thinking like these, but if 24 years of singlehood didnt tempt me to come around to a new set of thinking, I think this mentality is set to stay.
I dont believe in 'the one'. There should be many 'one's out there. Some 'one' are more suitable than others , but if we are to spend our lives pursing better 'one' , where does this all leads us? When does it all ends?
Like the columnist, I hold hopes that a certain some 'one' is just round the corner to spend my life with.
Btw in totally unrelated circumstances, got friends commented that I was very mean in previous few entries. Well I say it is in the name of entertainment so just take it with a pinch of salt k? (actually I am secretly very happy that people are calling me mean cause I believe nice people finish last. Discuss that another time though)
The article is a little long and if you dont wish to read it could jump straight to my comments at the end.
*********************************************
Life Pg 6
Titled: When is a cheat not a cheat?
Nicholas Fang (only extracts)
I have never cheated on my partner and that is not just because I havent been caught.
I is just that I've always been a firm believer in doing unto others as you would have others do unto you, and that what goes around comes around.
Besides the fact that a man is physiologically designed to have more than one partner in his lifetime to ensure the propagation of the species, the proverbial "seven year itch" of spouses and the growing social, and the financial and sexual independence of the modern woman have all been touted as reasons people are more likely to stray these days.
Infidelity for them happens usually begins when they meet someone new, but yet cant or wont let go of the partner they are already with, thus leading to actually cheating on the latter.
Moments of weakness, changing desires or just plain boredom with existing partners have all been citied as reasons.
In some cases, this eventually leads to the ending of an old relationship and the beginning of a new one.
In others, it have created an uncomfortable situation that often involves guilt, suspicion, distrust and general unhappiness.
I would like to believe that that we humans are able to find one person we can be with till we die.
Cheating begins the moment someone decides that its unreasonable to be sexually committed to one person, and once that happens only the fear of being caught - or the unavailability of an attractive accomplish - is what prevents infidelity from actually happening.
Indeed the issue that happens to bother most of them is whether mental and emotional intimacy without crossing of any physical boundaries actually constitutes cheating in a relationship. Some believe that the lack of physical intimacy with a third party absolves the of any guilt arising from straying affection.
But I dont think so. After all its is not hard to imagine how the loss of shared affection and development of emotional bonds could wreck havoc on a couple and ultimately break them up.
The acid test of doubts about cheating would be to imagine the tables being turned. If Imagining what their partners are doing makes them unhappy, then its probably a good indication of cheating.
********************************************
Like the columnist, I also believe in the golden rule of "Dont do to others what you dont want others to do to you." If it hurts reversing the roles in a situation, then dont do it.
Just wished to highlight the fact that there are indeed people who are in a relationship merely for the sake of being in one. They are constantly on the lookout of better and more suitable partners. I am very much against such thinking and behaviour as my friends will testify.
Mental cheating is almost as damaging as physical cheating. I am not referring to the occasional case of the roving eyes when a pretty gal walks past (come on guys are suppose to be hot blooded) but the constant toying of the idea of going after another more attractive female. (Issue of whether guys are superficial is besides present discussion)
To me, a relationship is a strong commitment. I can accept it when things do not go as planned and two people eventually breakup, but to have the mentality of "upgrading" is morally wrong. Perhaps I am still living among the dinosaurs with conservative thinking like these, but if 24 years of singlehood didnt tempt me to come around to a new set of thinking, I think this mentality is set to stay.
I dont believe in 'the one'. There should be many 'one's out there. Some 'one' are more suitable than others , but if we are to spend our lives pursing better 'one' , where does this all leads us? When does it all ends?
Like the columnist, I hold hopes that a certain some 'one' is just round the corner to spend my life with.
posted by Zen at 12:47 am
2 Comments:
like what you mentioned, i believe in being faithful to one. though no one has been here yet haha...
ya of course i do have many other friends who do not believe/ practice that. but its their choice. but my tutor (in one of those modules) said that there is always cost/benefits in a choice. so we can only respect even when we disagree...sigh
oh and think your mean-ness is meant for entertainment, we/ I wouldnt take to heart. think quite funny too
Thanks for the encouragement SY! = )
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